The O’Neill’s and McAdams are well known in our family for their conspicuous absence, both physically and verbally. When my brother Stephen and I were growing up we were told story after story ,by our father, of Greece, of the family, of my fathers life there, etc. My Mother never spoke of her family. At some point in my childhood I asked my Mother about her family. I don’t remember the first time, but I remember what she said. Always the same. Her parents had died in the influenza epidemic of 1917. She was an orphan. For a long time I had the impression that she was a complete orphan, no family at all. Two things she would talk about.
The first was the name O’Neill. It was spelled with two LL s, this is very important. Every time this came up she emphasized ” 2 LL s”. I think this finally sunk in when I was around 40. Now, I also, always emphasize! “2 LL s”!
And the second: The Red Hand Of O’Neill
The Irish legend concerning the Red Hand of Ulster (O’Neill) tells of an expedition to the coast of Ireland maney centuries ago. (Or across a lake). It was agreed that whoever touched the coast of Ireland first (or whoever touched the opposite shore of the lake) would posses the land and become chief of all the people. When the O’Neill saw another boat pass his, it is related, he cut off his left hand and hurled it onto the shore. The famous princes of Ulster were descended from this O’Neill.
Mom would tell this story, she favored the coast of Ireland version. The name O’Neill is one of the oldest surnames in Europe. (See Ency. Brittanica) It means son of Neill.
As the grand children came along and grew they also heard the stories of Greece and met some of their relatives when they came over to visit in the 1980’s. Their Mom had lots of relatives too, everyone did. So at some point the questions started again.
The kids were not very old, grade school age. Again the stone wall. I remember they would come to me and ask why grand-mom didn’t speak of her family. What could I say? I told them she would never talk of it, that she was an orphan etc. I especially rem ember David asking about this when he was quite small. But they all asked. My mother had a way which almost cannot be described of turning off the questions. Ask a question. Get an answer which Consisted of the least amount of information possible: “they died in the flu epidemic”. Next question – she looked into the distance, willed you to stop, somehow or another. It was the forbidden. The uncharted territory. And also, perhaps the most simple explanation, it was obviously a painful subject for her. Obviously my Mother was a person who could make a decision and stick to it for 56 years.
However, as the years passed I gleaned some information. She would speak of conversations she overheard as a child about the epidemic: “and they would turn black and die”. Her family: “They didn’ help me when I needed it so I don’t need them.” In the 1980’s my father, (when my mother was not around) with the most guilty expression, told me that the family was from around Broad and Masters streets in Philadelphia. And also that she had a brother. This floored me. (“How can you lose a brother He (Pop) had apparently met some of her family. But it was obvious he felt constrained not to say too much. What a dope I was not to force the issue. Oh well, live and learn. They’re all gone now.
My father died in May of 1990 and in August 1991 my mother sold the home at 52 Ronald Drive and came to live with me and Nick at 2 Covenant Court. Unfortunately, at this time it was discovered that she had a tumor in her brain. She had surgery in November and radiation therapy in the spring of “92”. Then came the disaster. In September she started to become senile. She was loosing the white matter in her brain. But almost up to the last couple of months she could speak fluently and she remembered the past. It was during this period that I got the most amount of information that I was ever able to get.
An interesting fact. I was speaking one day on the telephone with her friend Eleanor Peck (Aunt El). I asked about a brother and Aunt El said she knows Mom had a brother who was much older, but she never met him.
Also one day when I was speaking to Helen Trantas on the telephone she mentioned a brother. When she realized I did not know about this ,for certain, she started to back up and speak as if she was unsure. As if she had let something slip that she shouldn’t have. 2
I think both of these conversations (with El and Helen) took place sometime in the spring of “94”
No matter how weakened my Mother’s brain became she would never admit she had a brother. She was hardly herself anymore,and when I asked, I could see the old stone wall go up.
The facts that I do have.
INFORMATION ABOUT FAMILY OF MARY O’NEILL DRITSAS
12/15/93 Phone conversation with Eleanor Peck.
Eleanor Peck said she met my Mom around the time they got out of grade school. Mom was closer to Rose (Thomas) Laing than to her. Aunt El didn”t go to Hallohan High School, she went to a business school. At the time she met my Mom she (Mary) roomed with Mrs. Dominges she (El) thinks on Medary Avenue. And then with Mrs. Richardson on Price Street. Also Eleanor knows she had a much older brother but she never met him. Mom could bring her friends to these houses. (this on same scrap of paper & I think information is from Mom.)
Mom said her grade school was Immaculate Conception on Chelten Avenue. She lived at 1319 Price Street. Eleanor Peck lived in the 1300 block of Haines St. Her 8th grade teacher was Sister Sophie.
Mom said her grade school was Saint Malachy’s on 12 th Street. I was asking her about 1st grade at the time.
*St. Malachys is still in Phila. at 1429 N. 11th St. This is 11 th and Master Streets.
Her grandfather’s name was Hugh McAdams. (I don’t seem to have her grandmother’s name written down, I don’t recall ever hearing it, what a shame. Also I recall her saying that her grandfather Hugh was quite old as she remembered. She seemed to think he died when she was quite young, was a little fuzzy about him, but she said he was a big man.)
The McAdams children were:
Mary (the oldest)–Margaret her mother who had red hair–Anna who was about 5’2″ with black hair and blue eyes. Anna’s married name was Costello, she had 5 children Mom remembered one was called Margaret. There were two sons Joe and Tommy.
Her father Francis O’Neill (Frank) used to come to see her. Often with his brother Charlie O’Neill.
Charlie was in the laundry business. She remembered he has a black and brown truck. Charlie also had a touring car. He and her father would take her for rides.
On this same scrap of paper I noted “Jesu Parish 7th and Stickler”, it may refer to the parish her Aunt Anna lived in.
1748 Wylie St. Phila. Pa., Mom’s birthplace is in a section called Francisville. There is a playground and Wylie St. is on NW corner of playground. (Francisville Playground). This street and St. Malachys are in vicinity of Broad and Master Streets. When Jennifer drove by in the fall of 1995 she said the house is there but was boarded up. This is now a very bad neighborhood.
Mom said her grandmother passed away at 70 years of age. She was around 12 at the time and she went to live with her Aunt Anna (this is Anna Costello). This is not written down, but I asked Mom what her grandmother died of and she said she went upstairs and she was just dead, she just died. I tried very hard to press this issue for more detail but had no luck.
When she met my Father she lived with Vernon and Irene Friday. Vernon was the head of the Sanitation Dept. of the City of Phila.
Stephen’s godmother sent 3 post cards from Atlantic City. Says she had been very sick and was staying at the Mercer Home. The original post cards are at Stephens in his momento box. Name may be spelt Edonick.
Vivian 2/17/96